Monday, November 21, 2011
Interview with expert Terrie Browning from experts-now.com
8:15 PM | 
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Experts Now
Check out the latest interview with one of our experts on experts-now.com. The interview gives you a glimpse in "The Day in the Life" of a counselor who provides online counseling and face to face.
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/private-practice/2011/11/a-day-in-the-life-meet-online-counselor-terrie-browning-lpc/
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http://blogs.psychcentral.com/private-practice/2011/11/a-day-in-the-life-meet-online-counselor-terrie-browning-lpc/
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Tuesday, October 11, 2011
CHECK THIS OUT FOX CHANNEL 2
Hey all, check out the My Metro You special on Channel 2 Fox special report. This is the magazine with "My Healthy Mind" column that I write each month plus many other really cool stuff - fashion, beauty, stars info, helpful articles on family, couples, financial hints, etc. Its all there. Let me know what you think: Here is the link:
Thursday, September 29, 2011
What is True Love?
What is True Love?
Is true love blindly giving of yourself and your time to the people you love? Nope, it’s fearlessly giving unconditional love, big difference!
Blindly giving of yourself will take you down a road paved with resentment. We have all done this at one time or another, doing everything our partner or child wants us to do until we are exhausted. This is a recipe for disaster. Fearlessly giving unconditional love, however, is pure love. It’s loving somebody enough to let them live the life they dream of. It is exactly as you would hope to be loved.
True love is wanting the person you love to be exactly where they want to be at all times, with love in your heart. When I first heard this concept I completely disagreed with it, but take a minute and think about it. Would you want somebody to keep you from living the life you truly desire? Would you want somebody to tell you who you could love, where you should work or what you should wear?
Let’s just say, for instance, your spouse decides they want a boys/girls night out once a week. Why wouldn’t you encourage that? Each individual in a relationship needs personal time and space. It is imperative to continue to be the individual that you are while you are in a relationship. People so easily lose track of who they really are deep down when they are involved in a relationship. I know I did. Once I got divorced I didn’t even recognize myself. Why did I change so much? It wasn’t because my ex asked me to for sure, I just did. It’s subtle. One day you look in the mirror and you don’t recognize yourself anymore. And worst of all, you blame your spouse for it. Yep, I did that too! As it turns out, we are the only ones responsible for our lives. So give your spouse some space and be happy that they have things they like to do without you because you also get to do the things you like to do too! When you give freedom, you get freedom. When you give love, you get love.
There will come a day when our kids start to make their own decisions too. This is no fun for a parent. We get so used to handling everything for them. Obviously, we still need to keep them safe and help them understand the consequences of their actions, but there are some BIG decisions they will need to handle on their own. College, for example; isn’t it best for the person who is actually attending college to decide where they should go? They are the ones who are going to have to be motivated enough to get up and go to classes, to do homework, etc. As parents we often think we know best, but really do we? How could we ever know what path is best for another person? We can’t. Imagine if we never had to make any hard decisions. Decision making takes practice, we don’t get to skip this lesson and neither do our kids.
How about when your child decides to travel or move out-of-state, yuck! I don’t ever want my kids to move away from me. I want them to stay close to me forever. However, I love to travel and I love to try new things. So … how could I stop my kids from following their life’s path? It’s not up to me to run my child’s life; my job is to help them manage it until they are ready to fly on their own. The gift of freedom to be one’s authentic self is a wonderful, selfless gift!
This applies to all of our relationships. We are best served when we stay in our business and let others handle theirs. Remember, letting somebody live their life doesn’t always mean you have to live with their decisions. You are always free to adjust your position in the relationship, as are they. It all goes back to that golden rule “Treat others as you would like to be treated.”
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Love your children more then you hate your ex
Love your Children More Than you Hate your Ex
Golda Meir, former Prime Minister of Israel, once said “Peace will come to the Middle East when the Arabs love their children more than they hate us.”As quoted in Media Bias and the Middle East (2003) by Paul Carlson, p. 10
The same is true for two people getting divorced when children are involved. In order for everybody to win in a divorce, we as parents must love our children more than we hate our ex-spouse and more than we love our assets. There is nothing worth fighting over and no material possessions worth fighting for that have the potential to cause harm to our children. What could possibly be worth more to a parent than the well being of their child?
Every time you make a decision regarding your divorce, you need to step out of your drama and into reality; you may be harming your kids with reckless decisions that are made out of spite for your ex. Take time to think long and hard before you make any decisions. It’s easy to get worked up in an adversarial situation such as divorce, but this is no time to lose your sense of doing the right thing.
Let’s say for example, you are talking to a friend or family member, telling them how you plan to get back at your ex when you get back in court. Your child is listening to every word you say, even if you think they aren’t. If they aren’t listening, they sense what you are up to, don’t be fooled into thinking they don’t. Kids are far more tuned into what we do than what we say.
What are they learning from you? To start, they are learning to be greedy adults. They are learning hate. They are learning to fight dirty. They are learning that marriage is a bad thing and ends in horror. They are learning not to trust the opposite sex, and chances are they will have the same type of relationship as you did. Most of all, they are realizing that their best interest is the last thing on your mind. Is this really what you want your kids to walk away with from this experience? Don’t do this to them or to the relationship you have previously worked so hard to build with them.
When I filed for divorce, my ex was understandably pretty angry with me. Our kids were 2 and 4 and I told him up front that he could go as low as he needed to, but that I would not go down with him. Thankfully, he agreed that there was nothing worth fighting over that our children’s welfare came first. Just because we wanted a divorce that didn’t mean the kids had to suffer. In fact, it is our job to be sure that our children don’t suffer as a result of our divorce. It wasn’t their choice to get married, divorced or to be born for that matter. We brought them into this world; it is our job to protect them!
We also agreed never to say anything negative about each other in front of our kids and definitely not to our kids. The more they know that they are loved by both parents, that both parents respect each other and that they are going to be okay, the faster they will adjust and get through the divorce with little or no scars.
Our kids see us respecting each other and we remain good friends, which makes life so much easier for everyone. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy but it is worth the effort.
Our kids see us respecting each other and we remain good friends, which makes life so much easier for everyone. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy but it is worth the effort.
Parents who fight in front of their kids, who trash the other parent and who use their kids as bait to get what they want in a divorce are simply being selfish. Do right by your kids! Quit being narcissistic – you brought the kids into this world; you owe them responsible, loving parents.
In the end, the only thing that matters is that you and your ex come out of the divorce learning from your mistakes, and showing your children how to resolve unpleasant matters with respect and dignity for yourself and for others. You don’t have to go down that dark road just because you are getting divorced.
You have a choice, it’s YOUR divorce. Do the right thing! Love your children more than you hate your ex and love your possessions. It’s really a no-brainer, isn’t it?
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Wednesday, September 7, 2011
From My Gay Husband
Happy Hour with Your Gay Husband
Your Gay Husband Drink of the Day :
Fish House Punch
| Fish House Punch |
It feels like every spring I run more errands than any other time of the year. It must be because of the Sunny warmer weather and everything starting to bloom. Some days I Go Go Go. This is the perfect end to a fast moving day.
Fish House Punch
ice cubes
1 part brandy
1 part peach brandy
1 part golden rum
1 part lemon juice
1 part English breakfast tea
1/2 part simple syrup
soda water, to top up
lemon slice to decorate
Put some ice cubes with the brandies, rum, lemon juice, tea and sugar syrup into a cocktail shaker. Shake well. Double strain into a highball glass with ice cubes. Top up with soda water, decorate with lemon slice and serve with straws.
 |
| veggi snack |
Now it's time to shift gears and kick back on your patio or deck with some Zydeco music from New Orleans and escape for 1 hour...might as well make that a Happy Hour !
Bottoms Up !
Til Later,
Your Gay Husband
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Labor Day
What happened to the sun - yesterday was a beautiful day and I got to enjoy it on the lake. So peaceful and relaxing. I love the water! Hope everyone is having a good Labor Day weekend. Enjoy our newest blogger, My Joyful Corner and look for our new entry from Your Gay Husband coming out tomorrow.
Friday, September 2, 2011
My Joyful Corner
MY JOYFUL CORNER………………This is my first blog and I’d like to say welcome J
I’d like to believe that I can bring joy into the lives of others through sharing experiences with you. Let me start with, I am not a “licensed” professional but I have been through many experiences in my life; some good, some great, some awful and scary. I’m a daughter, a twin, a sister, spouse, niece, cousin, granddaughter and friend. I’ve been married, divorced, a single mother, a partner in business and a colleague. Of course there are many things that come along with all of those.
We all have stresses in life; some can be harder than others. Some seem impossible to bear but what choice do we have? We must keep going day after day, right? Yes, we do yet there can be ways to think about your stresses that may help…..
Work, family, partner, significant other or spouse, not getting to your chores or maybe not being able to keep a date or appointment….schedules! Either ours or the ones we love; can be down right difficult. It doesn’t matter what other people think about how big or small our stresses are, they are big to us. People you know will tell you things like better communication, better planning, patience or even the famous “one day at a time” can help relieve them. Seems those who love us sometimes believe they know what is best for us and they are right, these things can help but never make them go away….Stress is a part of life and so is learning to cope with them.
I like to believe the stresses we have in our lives are there for a reason. Think about the things you have gone through in your past…what did you learn from them? Did you take what you learned into your future life or are you repeating that behavior until you can?
Every single thing we do or go through happens for a reason. It’s a cliché I know but so true. It can be a good stress or bad, uncomfortable, depressing, illness or even exciting, adventurous and rewarding. There are many different kinds of stress. No matter what it is, it’s really what you do with the lessons we learn from these that can change our lives. Whether it’s for the good or not, is only up to ourselves.
Let me give you an example: I remember thinking when I got sick with Cancer; this cannot get any worse…..but it did. I think that may have been the biggest stress in my life but there has been many. Then I realized after awhile that it took this for me to realize that I needed to change the way I thought about what I was going through in order to change it or make it something positive in my life. When I was going through this; I had children who counted on me that I could not take care of. I lost my income, my home and almost lost my marriage over it. I had family who could not understand what I was going through. I thought no one was there for me….I was scared, I thought I was alone but I was wrong. I just felt really awful, all the time and when you feel really bad, you think there are no places to turn and no way to make it better. There is……
Stay positive as much as you can.
Think of things you can do that make you feel stronger, until you are.
Find one thing everyday that makes you feel worthy and you will realize that you are worthy!
You will regain more strength this way and find your way to a better tomorrow even if it doesn’t end up being the way it used to be.
Everything in life teaches us something. Look for the lessons and pass them on…. We would love to hear from you!
Until the next time… wishing you Joy & Peace into your day.
ADHD Myths
Just-released government statistics confirm that ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder) is more prevalent than ever before, increasing over the past decade from 6.9% to 9% among children ages 5 to 17. With nearly 1 in 10 kids being diagnosed with ADHD, and more adults learning they have it, too, it's become commonplace to blame it for everything from bad behavior to a messy house. Everyone, from friends and neighbors to Hollywood celebrities, has something to say about it, much of it with no basis in science. Here to help you get your facts straight, the top 10 misconceptions about ADHD:
Myth #1: Only kids have ADHD.
Although about 10% of kids 5 to 17 years old have been diagnosed with ADHD, at least 4% of adults have it, too -- and probably many more, since adult ADHD is often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. That's partly because people think only kids get it.
Myth #2: All kids "outgrow" ADHD.
Not nearly always. Up to 70% of children with ADHD continue to have trouble with it in adulthood, which can create relationship problems, money troubles, work strife, and a rocky family life.
Myth #3: Medication is the only treatment for ADHD.
Medication can be useful in managing ADHD symptoms, but it's not a cure. And it's not the only treatment. Lifestyle changes, counseling, and behavior modification can significantly improve symptoms as well. Several studies suggest that a combination of ADHD treatments works best.
Myth #4: People who have ADHD are lazy and lack intelligence and willpower.
This is totally not true. In fact, ADHD has nothing to do with intelligence or determination. It's a neurobehavioral disorder caused by changes in brain chemicals and the way the brain works. It presents unique challenges, but they can be overcome -- which many successful people have done. Even Albert Einstein is said to have had symptoms of ADHD.
Myth #5: ADHD isn't a real disorder.
Not so. Doctors and mental-health professionals agree that ADHD is a biological disorder that can significantly impair functioning. An imbalance in brain chemicals affects brain areas that regulate behavior and emotion. This is what produces ADHD symptoms.
Myth #6: Bad parenting causes ADHD.
Absolutely not! ADHD symptoms are caused by brain-chemical imbalances (see #4 and #5) that make it hard to pay attention and control impulses. Good parenting skills help children deal with their symptoms.
Myth #7: Kids with ADHD are always hyper.
Not always. ADHD comes in three "flavors": predominantly inattentive; predominantly hyperactive-impulsive; and combined, which is a mix of inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms. Although kids with hyperactive-impulsive or combined ADHD may be fidgety and restless, kids with inattentive ADHD are not hyper.
Myth #8: Too much TV time causes ADHD.
Not really. But spending excessive amounts of time watching TV or playing video games could trigger the condition in susceptible individuals. And in kids and teens who already have ADHD, spending hours staring at electronic screens may make symptoms worse.
Myth #9: If you can focus on certain things, you don't have ADHD.
It's not that simple. Although it's true that people with ADHD have trouble focusing on things that don't interest them, there's a flip side to the disorder. Some people with ADHD get overly absorbed in activities they enjoy. This symptom is called hyperfocus. It can help you be more productive in activities that you like, but you can become so focused that you ignore responsibilities you don't like.
Myth #10: ADHD is overdiagnosed.
Nope. If anything, ADHD is underdiagnosed and undertreated. Many children with ADHD grow up to be adults with ADHD. The pressures and responsibilities of adulthood often exacerbate ADHD symptoms, leading adults to seek evaluation and help for the first time. Also, parents who have children with ADHD may seek treatment only after recognizing similar symptoms in themselves.
Whats New!
Its happened! For those who know about our website www.experts-now.com, if you have been around the last couple years, you know we have been working hard to get this website up and functioning. Well, its launched!
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Saturday, April 2, 2011
Welcome to your online community of experts
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