Thursday, September 29, 2011
What is True Love?
12:40 PM | 
Posted by
Experts Now
What is True Love?
Is true love blindly giving of yourself and your time to the people you love? Nope, it’s fearlessly giving unconditional love, big difference!
Blindly giving of yourself will take you down a road paved with resentment. We have all done this at one time or another, doing everything our partner or child wants us to do until we are exhausted. This is a recipe for disaster. Fearlessly giving unconditional love, however, is pure love. It’s loving somebody enough to let them live the life they dream of. It is exactly as you would hope to be loved.
True love is wanting the person you love to be exactly where they want to be at all times, with love in your heart. When I first heard this concept I completely disagreed with it, but take a minute and think about it. Would you want somebody to keep you from living the life you truly desire? Would you want somebody to tell you who you could love, where you should work or what you should wear?
Let’s just say, for instance, your spouse decides they want a boys/girls night out once a week. Why wouldn’t you encourage that? Each individual in a relationship needs personal time and space. It is imperative to continue to be the individual that you are while you are in a relationship. People so easily lose track of who they really are deep down when they are involved in a relationship. I know I did. Once I got divorced I didn’t even recognize myself. Why did I change so much? It wasn’t because my ex asked me to for sure, I just did. It’s subtle. One day you look in the mirror and you don’t recognize yourself anymore. And worst of all, you blame your spouse for it. Yep, I did that too! As it turns out, we are the only ones responsible for our lives. So give your spouse some space and be happy that they have things they like to do without you because you also get to do the things you like to do too! When you give freedom, you get freedom. When you give love, you get love.
There will come a day when our kids start to make their own decisions too. This is no fun for a parent. We get so used to handling everything for them. Obviously, we still need to keep them safe and help them understand the consequences of their actions, but there are some BIG decisions they will need to handle on their own. College, for example; isn’t it best for the person who is actually attending college to decide where they should go? They are the ones who are going to have to be motivated enough to get up and go to classes, to do homework, etc. As parents we often think we know best, but really do we? How could we ever know what path is best for another person? We can’t. Imagine if we never had to make any hard decisions. Decision making takes practice, we don’t get to skip this lesson and neither do our kids.
How about when your child decides to travel or move out-of-state, yuck! I don’t ever want my kids to move away from me. I want them to stay close to me forever. However, I love to travel and I love to try new things. So … how could I stop my kids from following their life’s path? It’s not up to me to run my child’s life; my job is to help them manage it until they are ready to fly on their own. The gift of freedom to be one’s authentic self is a wonderful, selfless gift!
This applies to all of our relationships. We are best served when we stay in our business and let others handle theirs. Remember, letting somebody live their life doesn’t always mean you have to live with their decisions. You are always free to adjust your position in the relationship, as are they. It all goes back to that golden rule “Treat others as you would like to be treated.”
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